Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Bob De Niro's LiveJournal:

Friday, July 18th, 2008
12:39 am	Hands off the swag, Fatboy. Current Mood: pissed off (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 9th, 2004
8:12 pm	So whaddayaz all think? Martie and I are writing this 'memoirs' thing together. Do you think I should leave out the part about the time I give him a beating because I thought he was doing my wife? I dunno. I mean I was wrong about all that, an he wasn't doin it, but still. (Little did I know it was really Joe Pesci. Go figure. I never really got why he wasn't doing any MOVIES all those years, and now I find out it was because he was doin his friends wives. I mean, there I was makin 'The Mission' and there Joe was DOIN the missionary. Whatever. ) By the way, as soon as we're done with this writing thing, we're making another movie together. We're gonna be starring as Statler and Waldorf in the live action remake of The Muppet Movie. Whaddaya think? Be HONEST, now. Whaddaya think? I mean, be honest and everything, but don't piss me off or nothin...you know? By the way, you got any Kayaks? I could really use some Kayaks. Current Mood: creative (25 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 13th, 2003
11:08 pm	Okay, so which one of you Mooks knows what a New York Taco is? (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
5:47 am	WTF? So whadayaz all think? Should I send some boys out to do a lil 'batting practice' on Josh Beckett? Current Mood: pissed off (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 13th, 2003
4:55 pm	Hmmm...some MOOK is takin me to court on a VICE RAP. Apparently I "Introduced Jodie Foster to 'some MEN'" when she was only 12 years old. (You know..that TAXI DRIVER thing I did.) I don't remember that. I mean, I introduce a lot o people to a lot o people. I can't remember ALL of em. Maybe I did introduce Jodi to some men. I introduced her to Chuck Low, and Roman Polanski, but I'm not worried about Polanski. I mean, I heard he was a fruit, so he wouldn't do anything, right? I dunno. Anyway, my lawyer says I can stay out of jail if I spread $10 000 around. I think I'll break the gold star off this AFI Lifetime Achievement Award Trophy thing, melt it down, and see if I can sell it so somebody. Whadaya think? Ya think this thing will come off? (That reminds me, I really need to talk to Martie about his eyebrows. He's either gotta have em TRIMMED or start PARTING them on the other SIDE!) (28 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 1st, 2003
12:54 am	Is it just my imagination, or is Douglas makin FACES at me? Whadaya think, should I smack the guy? (You'd think they'd treat me with a little more respect when I show up in Tribeca, wouldn't you?) (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 10th, 2003
2:47 am	So...whadayaz all think? Do I got a shot at being the next Pope, or what? After all, I was in 'True Confessiions' with Duval. I learned a lot of theology from makin that picture, really I did. (I should warn you, though. I don't do that 'celibacy' thing. I draw the line at not being allowed to keep my pipes clean, if you know what I mean.) Current Mood: curious Current Music: Tony Bennet (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 7th, 2002
12:20 am	You mooks better watch me on Saturday Night Live tonight. Don't be a wiseguy, just watch, that's all I'm sayin'. (29 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
11:41 pm	Pfft! You know dat 'Tony Soprano' guy? You know da guy I'm talkin' bout? Yeah, well he's nottin but a big, wet, brazilian wax-top PUSSY if you aks ME. (Suddenly EVERYBODY thinks they can become a wise guy by using the F word. Well, life doesn't WORK dat way.) Current Mood: pissed off (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 20th, 2002
3:33 pm	Pam is makin' fun of my new 'whiskery look.' ( pam_grier ) *shrug* What can I say? I got offered the part of "Poopdeck Pappy" in the upcoming remake of "Popeye." Robyn Williams BEGGED to play Popeye again, but the casting director said he was just getting to be too damned old and nasty lookin', so they sprang for Jim Carey instead. Hmm.. I kinda like it though. The LOOK I mean. Makes me look like a PINEAPPLE! Yeah, that's it, a PINEAPPLE. A very versitile fruit, in my opinion. (Stop makin' a fuss over the brush, Pam. You know DAMNED WELL you love it when I 'tickle' you.) Current Mood: hairy Current Music: Tony Bennet: Rags to Ritches. (44 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 9th, 2002
11:48 am	Geeks, Trolls, Spammers, Camgirls, Pop-up advertisements... Someday a REAL rain is gonna come and wash all this scum off the internet. *putting format bombs up his sleeve, and taping trojan horses around his ankle.* Current Mood: crazy (36 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 7th, 2002
7:19 am	Obscure Raging Bull reference. I've been asked about this so many times that I thought I'd explain it here, for future reference. Do you remember that line from 'Raging Bull' where I say to Joe "You don't understand. They made me fight a bum. A BUM, a Mameluke!" Well, that word really threw Joe for a loop, and nobody on the set understood what I was saying, but for some reason Marty decided to leave it in. He's pretty good about that kind of thing, and does very well when it comes to cutting together ad-libbed scenes like that. Anyway, the Mamelukes were a gourp of irregular cavalry in the Egyptian army during the Napoleonic wars. You can read about them here: http://www.napoleon-series.org/military/organization/c_mameluks.html I don't know why I slipped that obscure reference into 'Raging Bull.' I suppose I just get tired of playing a boneheaded goomba all the time. My god, don't you people understand that I'm a thespian, and an ARTIST? In reality I happen to have a very extensive vocabulary, and do not speak in fragmented sentances like "lil' bit" and "over here." *sigh* How did I come to be so typecast? Why won't Kenneth Branagh let me play Shakespeare!? I read for the part of Romeo in "Romeo and Juliette," but he muttered something about how I was bad box office when it came to 'chick flicks,' and offered me the part of Tybalt instead. Well FUCK THAT! Didn't 'Stanley and Iris' do ANYTHING to change my image? Dammit! I'm getting really pissed off just thinking about this! And..okay okay, don't give me any more shit for playing the monster in "Mary Shelly's Frankenstein." I needed the money, okay!? There was a cyclone in California that year, and my damned beach house got washed into the Ocean! I needed some fast cash to replace it! I mean really, did anybody give Lawrence Olivier grief for being in 'The Betsy,' or Michael Cain for being in 'The Hand?!' Well, yes I suppose we all gave Joe a lot of grief for making 'My Cousin Vinnie,' but that's different, he DESERVED it! I mean, what the hell was he THINKING? Current Mood: quixotic (12 Comments |Comment on this)
6:42 am	So whaddaya want from ME? (14 Comments |Comment on this)